Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens. I think we’re due for an update on this dusty old chestnut. Not the movie Sound of Music(shut yo mouth), although there was some travesty on teevee last year starring that country chick from American Idol. I mean, beautiful woman, great singer, but how do solve a problem like Maria? With JULIE FUCKING ANDREWS, that’s how.
The necessary update here is the list of faves. Kittens are rad, but mama would prefer something in a low heeled leather bootie. Just saying.
Since November is the month in which we worship at the gratitude altar, I’m sharing some things I think are tits. As in kickass, gansta or just plain awesome sauce on toast. It goes without saying, although let’s say it for the sake of the record and all, I am most grateful for family, friends, health, the luck of the Irish bestowed upon this here Germanic Norwegian. The Roof above my head, the Uggs upon mah feets and the bright blue sky that I able to appreciate due to my privileged life as a first world, middle-class-ish white chick.
So, on to the stuffs. I’ve compiled a list of super awesome things that I use and love without question. This is one list among SIXTY-SIX that I currently have on my iPhone, including food carts to try, things I found awesome on ST:TNG and which Mexican restaurants have true vegetarian/vegan options. I also have a reminder for my bestie should she ever feel the desire to backslide down the slippery slope once more. #NeverMore
My five super awesome faves of the day are all edibles. Not those kind, although those will be legal in our great state come January 2015 for all you weed eaters. Prepare for epic munchie needs, bakers of goods.
So Awesome, it’s on my list:
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, this shit it is the dopest shit. If you a straight up sugar fiend like me, these little honeys will do you good. Crisp, crunchy shell with intense real vanilla flavor, smooth, rich chocolate like velvet on your tongue. This is my staple, this is my world. They only sell them at Easter and now at Christmas. If we work together, we can make these available to everyone, everywhere at every time. It’s been written into the dogma-ish of The Church of Bloggessianism. Join us and be the change, people. There’s free gravy and Cadbury mini eggs for all. Or you know, not. Definitely not for Gretchen Weiner.
A half pound of cookie is what you’re getting when you sink your chompers into a Carol’s Cookie. None of this flat, just decent stuff that Mrs. Field’s or All American Cookie Factory are throwing your way. This is like mama made. If she really, really loved you. All the flavors are excellent, but Toffee Crunch is the only way to go. Soft, but with the perfect amount of chew and resistance, studded with sizable chocolate chips and speckled with rivulets of sweet, salty, chewy toffee, this cookie will ruin you for any other and will have you inventing reasons to run to your local Whole Foods or to order them in bulk from their website. Maybe you’ll even share a few with your most loved of ones. Or hide them and eat them alone with guilty delight. They both have their upsides.
Specifically the Chocolate Dipped Coconut bars right now, but I also adore the Peppermint Chocolate and Raspberry Chocolate bars. This is the healthiest candy bar that also actually tastes good. Like amazing really especially with a big old venti of a coffee. Although you’ll probably need at least two bars to last that long. But with 9 grams of protein, three grams of fiber and your giant sized caffeinated bev, you’ll be both satiated and regular so HEALTH.
Do you need further information. Go get this stuff now and spread it on veggies if you’re nice, on crackers or bread if you’re PG-13 or on pretzel bread if you’re nasty. You deserve it, Ms. Jackson. I am for real.
Yes, I said pears. I don’t even like fruit flavored candy, but I am fully in junkie mode for these sweet, sweet babies. They are so damn good i would pay full price ($30) for them if I was rich or had a coupon for half off. Which you can often find floating around Groupon or LivingSocial or some other deal site this time of year. My family will cut a bitch for eating one of their allotment. Disclaimer: pears are natural laxatives and these are big honkers. Do not eat more than one, give more than one to a five year old boy who loves fruit or combine with the aforementioned Luna bar/coffee combo. Adherence is strongly suggested.
None of these people or companies have compensated me in any way for these opinions although they really should. Especially Cadbury as I have included the year round availability of their product in a commandment in a semi-formal, spiritually-related religion-ish which will definitely increase their sales and possibly be their ticket into heaven or what passes for it for us Bloggessians – the cleanest, comfiest, most tricked out bathroom in the sky where we can spend eternity alone together.
All of this makes much more sense if you read The Bloggess. If you don’t, doublya tee effenstein are you doing here??? You go read that now, you crazy hooligan.