Erasure was my abfab FAVE late 80’s/early 90’s band. Let’s be real, they’re still high up in my ranks. My husband and I took the kid to read to a dog at the library(yeah, it’s a thing) the other night and the hus picked up Erasure’s The Circus for me off the sale table for a buck.
I have a bunch of Erasure on iTunes so at frst I was like, eh. But as I looked at the track list, I realized I had forgotten about many of the songs. When I popped it into my car, because where else can you play CD’s these days….
Yeah, yeah, I know music does that. But you forget how easily those notes fling you through the wormhole into that other life you once lived that now only exists in one little pool of brain cells that and is only accessible by smells, sights and sounds.
At that time in my life, I was fully immersed in the Houston gay club scene and almost all of my friends were young gay dudes. It was pretty much heaven for an emotionally-weathered, book-obsessed introvert about three quarts low on self-esteem.
And while I think my co-horts were also having a gay old time dancing, drinking, drugging and dating(well, they were. Not a lot of options for a straight girl living in a gay old world) alongside me, judgement, bigotry and hatred was flagrantly and utterly rampant in urban Texas. Even among their family members.
I had friends that were beaten up, kicked out, disinherited, sent to therapy or psychiatric facilities. And that was by their families. Because they were gay. Dude.
None of that is anything new or even shocking in relation to the horror stories we see and hear on the internet today. All those young kiddos that are offing themselves because the bullying and meanness they live through is unrelenting and they can’t see past the FOUR MORE YEARS they have to deal with it. Because FOUR YEARS, MAN. When you’re fourteen and spend the majority of your days in a viper pit, eight hours can be an eternity.
Listening to these songs about coming out, about hurting and acceptance and longing for love equality set to a beat you can dance to, it occurred to me that my son will never know a world where marriage is defined solely as a union between a man and a woman. He knows all about two mommies or daddies and he celebrated with me the day gay marriage became legal in Oregon. I’ve always kept the pronouns out of any convos regarding his eventual potential life partners. I’ve always included all variations on romantic partnerships and parenting configurations in our talks on those topics. I hope I’ve imparted to him that love comes in all flavors.
Now, lest you protest, I’m not saying that because gay marriage is legal in some of our states that everything is all cool cool cool and woohoo magic unicorn yay! prejudice has been eradicated from the earth. I’m just saying that things look better than when I was 20 and hopefully it will continue in that direction if we raise a generation that largely thinks being gay is#nbd.
I’m just saying that I hope that it can be like that. ^
I’m just saying it doesn’t have to be like that. v