Hey kids! I have some dope know-know to drop into yo noggin-holder. What’s that you say? There are no kids here? This is not the language in which they speak? They’re on Twitter and YouTube and SnapChat? Saying things like, but not limited to:
- Turn up
- YAAAAAAS KWEEN
- On fleek
- You bin ladened
So yeah, probably not that last thing. But maybe it could be the fetch for the new generation?
AnyHWAY, it’s Wednesday and last I checked the world is a GOTDAMN dump fire(elevated from the dumpster to the whole dump) so let me point you in the direction of some full on awesome-salve for that deep soul burn.
- Putting the awww in awesome is my hometown zoo’s Insta account. The Oregon Zoo is the coolest. Obvs. Oregon is pretty much the coolest altogether, but we can save that monologue for another day. The zoo is ultra gorge and has just expanded the elephant area and just completed an epic education center where you can learn all kinds of stuff about animals and conservation and the work that they do with and for the animals and the environment. On their Insta, you can see videos of the happiest polar bear alive, Nora. You can watch the otter cams, because who doesn’t love a good otter? SATAN, that’s who. Also, probably the current leader of the free world. But that’s just speculation.
You can see condor eggs hatching, penguins learning how to swim and so many other splendid bits of the natural world, it will almost make up for experiencing it through a screen. Highly recommend.
- GUYS, Busy Phillip’s Insta story is the best micro reality show out there. The gorgeous California girl who incarnated Kim Kelly from Freaks and Geeks and made me want to be her best friend, even if she did occasionally punch me in the gut or scowl at me every day.
The real Busy(the Insta versh) isn’t at all a mean girl or a snobby celeb or anything other than gd delightful. Whether she’s documenting the randy activities of the local wildlife, dripping sweat onto her phone in an infrared sauna or Lek Fit class, telling Uber drivers that she WILL NOT BE KILLED TONIGHT or glamming the fuck out in the front row of the craziest Oscar snafu ever(ZOMGS, MOONLIGHT!!! I love you forever), she’s doing it with an openness and vulnerability that isn’t often associated with Lalaland and with the ability to laugh at herself and the absurdities of life without ever crossing the line into oversharing or deprecation.
I love her and you will too.
- Watching Steven Universe with my family makes me happy in a myriad of ways. It’s brightly colored, silly without being dumb/belittling/relying on stereotypical tropes/crude and it’s full of beings that have happy day to day lives with the occasional bout of kicking ass and saving the planet.
The Gems themselves are cool because they defy human conventions like gender/race/sexuality without really even telling you they’re doing it. There’s nothing threatening about the Crystal Gems, but they possess enormous power and have also recognized the worth of the lesser evolved beings, aka hoomans. Basically, their jam is saving the Earth, saving other Gems and encouraging everyone to be themselves. Oh, and also love. Love is their jam. We need more of this jam, stat.
Here’s a good jam, stat.