When my friend told me years ago that she was planning to homeschool her kids, I was deeply concerned. And being me, I voiced those deep concerns. About the thing that every non-homeschooling person that ever lived is concerned about. Say it together now, friends and neighbors, SOCIALIZATION. I also worried about her sanity, being trapped in the house all day long without interacting with any other mostly civilized beings, doing the parent thing and the teacher thing for two little humanoid souls. But the socialization was the big one.
As my hypocritical ass now hangs over the homeschool precipice, the last thing in the world I’m worried about is socialization. My kid be social. There is no shy in this guy. He talks to ERRBODY. Strangers of every sort and variety. The other day he spent a good chunk of time at the park throwing a ball for some dude’s dog. Adults look at me as if to say, this kid is accosting me, I have no intentions here but to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine on my bones in solitude. Shortly after, they’re looking at me like, um, yer kid he is so loud and persistent k thx bye. The slow edge away doesn’t work on him, the ignore til they disappear only makes him louder and closer. He truly is the perfect kidnapping victim. He might even facilitate his own kidnapping by just following someone and jumping into their car to finish telling them about his most recent OT sesh or that his dad plays Plants vs Zombies with him on his iPad in the mornings. If you hang with us make sure you’re on guard so you don’t accidentally kidnap my child. Because finders keepers, y’all. It’s a covenant we all agree to as children. No backsies.
I do worry about adding the educating routine to the care and feeding routine of owning your own small humanoid. I worry that I will berserk out and abandon my post for a life in the hill country or run for the desert on a horse. Although he’ll most likely have a name because horses deserve names too.
As the volcano gods are my witness, I want to educate my child in the manner in which he needs to be educated. But I’m worried, I’m scared, I’m overwhelmed. The internet be mighty, be it also be vast. I am wading through drifts of information in the shape of blogs, Pinterest pins, curricula reviews and a stack of books so high it could feed the Duggar family if only it were made of pancakes and the blood of Jesus. I also have the advice and opinion of two women I trust implicitly who bear the battle scars and has devised various coping skills and tactics of defense (booze and the precious lock on the bathroom door).
I’m feeling particularly optimistic with one day under my belt, likely because the sun is shining, the next day is far off in the hazy sweet spot of planning and preparation and because my child is being educated elsewhere today for a number of hours that is great enough for me to not only make the donuts, but enjoy one or two at a leisurely pace.
I am calling all other Ish mamas that have homeschooled, have considered or researched homeschooling or who think homeschooling is what’s wrong with the world today for your thoughts, opinions, recommendations, admonitions, used curriculum.
Help a sister out on this lonely, weird homeschooling journey, won’t you?